What should I check before hosting a teen bonfire party?

What to check before you say yes to a bonfire

A bonfire can be the main reason friends get together without being the only thing to do. The checks below cover the party: who gives permission, who is responsible for what, the house rules, food, rides and a backup plan. This guide doesn't explain how to light, manage or put out a fire. Those decisions depend on your location and your equipment, so check the rules that apply where you live and follow the requirements for your fire setup.

Do these checks in order. Start with whether the fire can go ahead and who will be responsible for it. Next, agree the evening with your teen. Then tell families what to expect. Settling the fire question first means you won't buy supplies or send invitations for an evening you can't host.

Start earlier if you need time to check the location, sort out equipment or line up adult help. Two weeks ahead is a reasonable time to agree the guest list, location, meal, optional activity and backup plan with your teen.

• Can a fire go ahead at your location, and what does your equipment require?
• Which adult is responsible for the fire, and who handles everything else?
• Which rooms and outdoor areas can guests use, and what are the music, phone and photo rules?
• What will you serve, and has anyone told you about food or access needs?
• Is there a place to sit away from the fire?
• Who is collecting each guest, and when does the party end?
• What will happen if the fire is cancelled, and when will families hear about it?

Agree who is responsible for the fire and who looks after guests

Being nearby for the hangout doesn't count as supervising the fire. One adult needs to be named as responsible for the fire, according to the requirements for your location and equipment. Other jobs, such as refilling food, welcoming guests, answering family messages and handling pickup, should go to someone else so the fire is never left unattended while that adult is busy.

If you are the only adult available, you can't be responsible for the fire and also handle food, arrivals, departures and family messages. Before you confirm the fire, ask another adult to take either the fire or the guest jobs for the whole evening, including while guests are leaving. If you can't arrange that, or can't check the rules for your location, hold the party without a fire.

Write the jobs down before party day: fire arrangements, food and refills, welcoming guests and staying available, family messages and pickup, and cleanup. Make sure the responsibility for the fire continues while guests are leaving. The responsible adult deals with the fire according to the requirements you've already checked.

Agree the house rules with your teen before guests arrive

Talk through the rules with your teen first, so you aren't announcing new limits halfway through the evening. Be specific. Which bathroom can guests use? Where should bags go? Which part of the yard is open to them?

Agree whether guests may share photos, and make it easy for anyone to say no to a picture. Set aside a place for charging phones, and make sure parents can still get through by phone.

Phones can have their own short agreement with your teen. Teen party phone rules can cover where phones are kept, how guests can always call home and asking before sharing anyone's photo. Have an activity ready for guests to join once phones are put away.

Plan an evening your teen and their friends will enjoy

Ask your teen what they want to do with friends: eat dinner outside, listen to music, talk or play a short game. Then plan the food, seating and pickup around that. Let your teen make the playlist, and agree how loud it can be and who can change the music.

Decide where everyone will sit before you invite the group. Count the seats, leave the space your fire setup requires, and choose another place where guests can sit away from the fire.

Here are three ways the evening could go. Use them as examples to adapt:

• Dinner and conversation: serve pizza or tacos first, then leave most of the evening for music and talking. Keep a few conversation questions ready in case guests want them.
• Dinner and a short quiz: eat together, play a few team questions, then go back to hanging out. The teen trivia night guide explains how to set up teams, short rounds and scoring.
• Snacks and a vote: if the party falls between meals, let guests vote for a favorite from four snacks. The Snack Bracket in teen party games explains the three votes and how to handle a tie. Hold the vote at the food table, not around the fire.

If the conversation needs a nudge, 21 Questions with clean prompts is one option. Read a question aloud and give each player a clear turn. Let anyone pass, and stop whenever the talk carries on by itself; there's no need to finish a round.

Serve a real dinner if the party runs over dinnertime

If the party runs over dinnertime, say on the invitation that dinner is included, and choose the main meal before buying sweets. When you work out how much food you need, count every person who will eat: your teen, the invited guests, and any siblings or adults who will eat too. Add anyone who isn't already on the guest list. Ask families about food needs before you shop. Plan the main meal by appetites and the number of people eating. A snack table is a separate list on top of that.

Once you have the full headcount, use it to work out how much food to buy for the main meal. Choose the main dish, fruit or vegetables and drinks first, counting adults who eat. Then plan the snack table as its own list.

Put the food and drinks area away from the fire setup. Set out plates, napkins, serving tools and drinks where guests can find them, and keep extra food and drinks ready for refills, along with wipes, trash bags and recycling. If guests will carry food out to the yard, follow the storage directions for your ingredients. Food you can carry isn't automatically fine to leave outside all evening.

When guests carry plates outside, plan small trays, napkins, wipes and bags for trash and recycling near where they'll sit. Ideas for backyard party food can help with serving outdoors, but storage still follows each ingredient's directions, not how portable the food is.

S'mores can be an optional dessert if they suit your fire arrangements and guests' food needs. Have another dessert too, so nobody has to go near the fire to get something sweet.

Decide what you'll do if the fire is cancelled

Plan a version of the evening that works without a fire, and choose it before you buy supplies. Tell families whether you'll change the activity, move indoors, postpone or cancel, and when you'll let them know.

If you plan to move indoors, check that you have enough seats and space for the whole group before you offer that option. Don't count on everyone fitting into the kitchen at the last minute.

If the fire is cancelled and you've confirmed seats and space for everyone, hosting a board-game party is one indoor option. Pick games whose player counts and playing times fit your group and table space. Rules can be explained as play goes on.

Example: a three-hour evening from 6:00 to 9:00 p.m.

This example is for an evening that includes dinner, using the pizza menu above. It adds up to 180 minutes. Adjust it for your guests, daylight, meal and location. The schedule doesn't say when to light or put out the fire. Those decisions belong to the fire arrangements you've already agreed.

• 6:00–6:20 p.m., arrivals (20 minutes): welcome guests, show them where bags and drinks go, and introduce anyone who doesn't know the group.
• 6:20–7:00 p.m., dinner (40 minutes): serve pizza and any separate option you've agreed, with fruit, pretzels and water. Leave time for seconds.
• 7:00–7:45 p.m., music and conversation (45 minutes): guests sit where you've planned. Offer a few conversation questions only if the group wants them.
• 7:45–8:15 p.m., optional game and dessert (30 minutes): bring out cookies or cupcakes. Play a short quiz from the teen trivia night guide or the Snack Bracket from teen party games, or just let everyone keep talking.
• 8:15–8:45 p.m., free time (30 minutes): keep this flexible. Confirm rides and gather belongings as the end of the party gets closer.
• 8:45–9:00 p.m., pickup (15 minutes): an adult stays available for drivers. The fire stays with its responsible adult while guests leave.

Checklist before guests arrive

Ticking these boxes keeps track of your tasks. It doesn't show that a fire is suitable or safe.

• Check the rules for your location and the requirements for your equipment, and name the adult responsible for the fire.
• Make sure your no-fire plan works for the whole group, and tell families how they'll hear about changes.
• Confirm the guest list, food needs and anything that helps guests take part.
• Prepare the main meal, snacks, a dessert that doesn't need the fire, water and refills.
• Set out seating, including a place to sit away from the fire.
• Agree with your teen on rooms, outdoor areas, music volume, phones and photos.
• Set out serving tools, napkins, wipes, trash bags, a charging spot and a place for bags.
• Confirm each guest's ride, the finish time and the number families should call.
• Give food, guest help, family messages and cleanup to someone other than the adult responsible for the fire.

Sources and further reading

• Teen Bonfire Party

Related questions

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