40 This or That Questions for Couples
Would you rather go out for breakfast or stay up for dessert? Cook together or order a surprise meal? These 40 clean This or That questions for couples cover dates, home routines, travel and future plans. Answer at the same time, then hear why your partner picked their option. You can play with just the two of you or with other adult couples, without keeping score.
How to play together
Allow about five minutes to open the page or print the questions and agree how to answer. You only need two people and the question list. The general This or That guide has broader choices if you want a round that is less about life as a couple.
- Read both options. Take turns reading, or let one person read while both answer.
- Answer at the same time. Count down from three and say your choice. In a group, hold up one finger for the first option or two for the second.
- Explain if you want to. One short reason from each partner is enough. Matching answers can have different reasons too.
- Save an idea and keep going. Write down anything you might like to try together. Skip any question either person would rather leave for a private conversation.
Use Pick another question for a random choice from all four groups. It avoids showing the same question twice in a row, but earlier questions can return. Read through a group directly if you want one topic or no repeats. Print all 40 opens your browser’s print dialog for a paper copy. Stop whenever you have had enough; there is no set number you need to finish.
Which questions should you start with?
The four groups in the question pack give you different things to talk about. Start with whichever fits your evening.
- Date-night choices: Try these when you are newly dating or deciding what to do together. Breakfast versus dessert, live music versus an outdoor movie, and a double date versus time alone do not require a shared home or years of memories.
- Home routines: Use these if you want to compare everyday habits, such as music at breakfast, grocery lists or weekend chores. If you do not live together, answer for your own routine rather than assuming you need to agree on one.
- Travel style: Compare a detailed itinerary with one plan per day, or a favorite destination with somewhere new. You can talk about an imagined trip even if you have not traveled together.
- Looking ahead: Read these if you both want to discuss traditions, hobbies or future plans. Picking an option is not a commitment to spend money, move or change a routine.
For a less personal start, try funny This or That questions. Those choices use absurd situations instead of asking about your relationship.
What if you choose different answers?
Treat each answer as a preference. Nobody wins for matching, and nobody loses for choosing the other side. Ask “What do you like about that?” if you want to hear more, then let your partner finish before giving your own reason.
For example, you might choose a detailed itinerary because you enjoy knowing what is next, while your partner chooses one plan per day to leave time to wander. You can understand both answers without settling how every future trip will work. If neither option fits, say which comes closer or pass.
Do not turn the next question into a way to settle an existing disagreement. Leave that conversation for another time if either person wants to move on. For questions with room for a longer answer, 21 questions for couples uses open questions instead of two choices.
Turn an answer into a date or home idea
Save choices that point toward a future date, trip, or easier home routine. The game can produce a good idea without turning the whole evening into planning. Ask “Would you like to try that sometime?” before treating your partner’s answer as a plan.
Here are a few ways you could use an answer:
- If you both pick a farmers market morning, write down a possible morning to go together. Decide where and when after the game.
- If one person picks a competitive game and the other picks a shared puzzle, suggest one of each on different evenings rather than choosing a permanent favorite.
- If you both pick one shared calendar, note that you want to try adding your next date to a calendar you can both see.
- If you pick different travel plans, write down both preferences. You could discuss booking one activity and leaving the rest of a day open when you actually plan a trip.
Print these rows or copy them into your own notes. You do not need to fill every row.
| Question or choice | My answer | My partner’s answer | Something we might try |
|---|---|---|---|
| __________________ | __________ | __________ | __________________ |
| __________________ | __________ | __________ | __________________ |
| __________________ | __________ | __________ | __________________ |
An idea we both want to revisit: ___________________________________
When we might talk about it: ______________________________________
How to play with several couples
Have one person read the question, then let everyone answer for themselves at the same time. Partners do not need to agree on a joint answer or guess what the other person will say. Invite a brief explanation from anyone who wants to share, then move to the next question.
Use the date-night group if people would rather keep home routines and future plans private. Anyone can pass without giving a reason. If you are adding a round to a birthday meal, the dinner birthday party ideas page can help with arranging the meal around the gathering.
If children join, switch to This or That questions for kids for simpler choices and ways to answer. For a teen gathering, This or That questions for teens focuses on school, friends and everyday preferences. Keep this adult couples pack for the couple setting it was written for.
Try another question game
If you want to keep playing, choose a format that fits what you feel like doing next:
- Would You Rather questions for couples gives you longer choices about resting, traveling and spending time together.
- Never Have I Ever questions for couples invites stories about dates, trips and everyday memories. You can answer without telling the story.
- Truth or Dare questions for couples adds optional actions alongside questions. Agree that either partner can pass before starting.
You can also finish here and come back to an idea you saved. There is no need to start another game to complete the evening.
Common questions about playing as a couple
How do couples play This or That?
One partner reads both choices and both answer at the same time. Compare reasons when the answers differ.
Are these couples questions explicit?
No. The choices cover dates, home life, travel, communication habits, and future preferences.
Do matching answers mean a couple is more compatible?
This game has no compatibility score. Matching answers tell you that you picked the same option; different answers give you something to talk about.
Can several couples play together?
Yes. Every person should answer individually rather than assuming a partner’s choice.
What should couples do with a useful answer?
Save the choice as a future date, home, or travel idea, then continue the game without turning every answer into a planning meeting.