How to Ask Parents About Party Accommodations
Send every family a short, private message with the invitation. Describe the food and activities, ask what their child needs to take part, and give a reply date that leaves time to confirm changes. Below you’ll find wording you can copy, a reminder for unanswered messages and notes you can print to keep track of what you’ve agreed.
A message to send with the invitation
Replace the bracketed details before sending. The four questions cover food, mobility and seating, sensory needs, and equipment or accompanying adults. They start the conversation; they do not cover every possible need.
We’re looking forward to celebrating with your child! We’ll have [activities] and [food] at [place] on [date], from [start time] to [finish time]. Please reply privately by [reply date]:
- Are there any food allergies or dietary requirements we should discuss?
- What would help your child get around, sit with friends and join the activities?
- Is there anything about noise, lighting or taking a break that we should arrange?
- Will they bring any equipment or have someone accompanying them, and what should we arrange for that?
You can text me here or ask for a call. Please also let me know if no changes are needed.
For a paper invitation, add your contact number and a place to write a private reply. For a form, use open answer fields rather than requiring families to select a diagnosis. Our guide to asking about food allergies on an RSVP covers the food question in more detail.
How do I send it without singling anyone out?
Send the same questions with every invitation. Use an individual text, direct message or a form whose responses other guests cannot see. If the invitation goes to a group chat, give parents a separate way to reply to you.
Ask about arrangements, not why a child needs them. “What would help them follow the games?” gives a family room to describe what works. They do not need to explain a diagnosis to ask for a quieter place or a different seat.
Keep the replies with your planning notes. Tell the family which helping adults need to know about an agreed arrangement, and share the relevant details privately. Avoid putting individual needs on a guest list that everyone can see. The parent communication checklist also covers confirming drop-off and pickup arrangements.
What to confirm after a parent replies
Turn each answer into something you can check, then tell the parent what is confirmed. A useful reply might be: “I’ll ask the venue about that entrance and bathroom and get back to you by Thursday.” That is clearer than promising an accessible venue before checking it.
Food: If a reply says only “nuts” or “dairy,” ask what the family needs you to know about ingredients and food preparation. Describe your actual menu and what the kitchen can confirm. For a drop-off party, agree how the parent will pass on their child’s instructions and who will receive them; see the food-allergy communication plan for drop-off parties. This page does not provide medical instructions or establish that a meal is safe.
Getting around and joining in: Ask which parts of the route, seating or activity need checking. Use the wheelchair-accessible venue checklist for the entrance and restroom conversation, then consider the mobility-friendly games and setup guide alongside the family’s preferences. Equipment such as a wheelchair may affect where you put tables; ask what space is needed rather than guessing.
Noise, lighting and communication: Describe anything that may matter, such as music during games or dimmed lights for cake. Ask what would help and confirm it with the family. The party plan for guests with hearing differences has questions about following conversations and activities.
Other arrangements: Ask whether an adult will accompany the child and whether you need to make room for equipment such as noise-canceling headphones. For an overnight party, explain the sleeping and pickup arrangements too; the sleepover FAQ for parents covers those separate questions. Include these agreements in your wider party safety planning.
What if a parent doesn’t answer?
Send one private reminder close to the RSVP deadline:
Hi! I’m confirming the food and activities for [child’s name]‘s party. Could you let me know by [date] whether your child needs any food, access or other arrangements? “No changes needed” is helpful too. If you’d rather talk, let me know a good time to call.
An unanswered message or blank field does not tell you that no changes are needed. Keep it marked as awaiting a reply. If the family later confirms attendance, ask again before treating the food or setup as agreed.
You can continue preparing the parts of the party that do not depend on that answer. Do not claim that a labelled table or a general menu change meets an unknown allergy need.
What do I do when I can’t meet a request?
Explain the specific limitation as soon as you know it. Separate what you have confirmed from what you still need to check. Here is an example for a venue problem:
Thanks for explaining what would help. The room we’ve booked has a step at the entrance, and the venue hasn’t confirmed another route. I’m checking whether we can move to a different room and will update you by [date]. I don’t want you arriving without knowing the entrance arrangements.
For a food concern, describe what the kitchen can and cannot confirm rather than calling a separate table allergy-safe. Ask the family whether there is an arrangement they want to discuss, and confirm it together before the party. Do not promise a solution you cannot provide or leave the parent to discover the limitation at arrival.
An example two-week plan for collecting replies
This is an example preparation timeline, not a required notice period. Send questions earlier if you need time to change a booking. The reply date should leave time for shopping and venue checks.
- Two weeks before the party: Send invitations with the private questions. Set a reply date about a week before the party.
- One week before: Send one reminder to families who have not answered. Follow up on answers that need clarification.
- Four days before: Confirm the menu, venue and activity changes with the relevant families. Tell them about anything you cannot provide.
- On party day: Check in privately about any last change and make sure the adult responsible for each arrangement has the agreed information.
Check before sending invitations
- Describe the planned food, activities, place and start and finish times.
- Include all four questions and invite parents to mention other needs.
- Give every family a private way to reply, including a call if preferred.
- Choose a reply date that leaves time to check the venue and change shopping plans.
- Decide when to send one reminder and where to keep the answers.
- Leave space to record what needs checking and what you have confirmed.
Checkmarks are not saved when you leave this page.
Notes to print for each family
Keep these notes private. Print another copy for each family, or use the same fields in your own notes. Blank lines mean “not yet recorded,” not “no changes needed.”
| Detail | Write the reply or agreed arrangement |
|---|---|
| Child’s name and parent contact | __________________________________ |
| Reply received / reminder date | __________________________________ |
| Food requirements to discuss | __________________________________ |
| Entrance, bathroom and seating | __________________________________ |
| Activities and communication | __________________________________ |
| Noise, lighting or quieter breaks | __________________________________ |
| Equipment or accompanying adult | __________________________________ |
| Question still awaiting an answer | __________________________________ |
| Who will check it, and by when | __________________________________ |
| Arrangement confirmed with parent / date | __________________________________ |
| Helping adult who needs the details | __________________________________ |
| Party-day update | __________________________________ |
Questions about asking parents
Is text okay, or do I need a form?
A private text is enough if you can keep track of the replies. A form can help with a larger guest list, but check that individual answers are not visible to other families. Offer a call if someone would rather talk.
Should I ask every family the same questions?
Yes. Send the same initial questions to every family, then ask follow-up questions about their particular reply. Do not guess who needs an accommodation from how a child looks or from what another parent says.
How much personal information should I request?
Ask what you need to arrange for the party. A parent can describe a change to food, seating or an activity without giving you a diagnosis or their child’s medical history. If a reply needs clarification, explain which arrangement you are trying to confirm.
What if a parent sends an update after the reply date?
Acknowledge it and check what you can still change. Tell the family which arrangements are confirmed and which remain uncertain before they arrive. The reply date helps you prepare; it does not mean a late message can be ignored.