What should parents agree before a sleepover?

What to agree with each family before the night

A sleepover goes more smoothly when parents know the arrangement before they say yes. Most of what needs agreeing comes down to a few questions: how will we reach each other, who is looking after the children, when does the night start and end, and what happens if something changes?

Start with contacts. Give families the name and phone number of the hosting adult, and say that you can be reached during the evening and overnight. Ask each family for the number where you can reach them while their child is with you. Keep those numbers somewhere the hosting adult can find them quickly. A phone with a dead battery or a list in someone's bag doesn't help.

Next, name the adults who are hosting and staying overnight, using the arrangements you have actually confirmed. If this is a drop-off sleepover, say so plainly. Then give both times: when to arrive, and the date and time or time window for pickup the next day.

Agree on an early-pickup option with each family beforehand. A child might want to go home during the evening or in the night. Ask the parent who you should contact and how pickup would work, and write the answer down with that family's contact details. These are individual arrangements, so don't put them in a group invitation.

The rest is house rules: your planned wind-down and lights-out time, where phones and other devices will be, whether photos can be taken and shared, and which rooms guests can use. The sections below cover each one, with wording you can adapt.

What to put on the sleepover invitation

The invitation is where you share the details every family needs. Put the overnight arrangement and both dates where parents can easily find them. "Saturday at 5" leaves the morning unanswered. "Arrival: [Saturday date] at [time]. Pickup: [Sunday date] at [time]" gives families the full plan.

Decide whether dinner is included before you set the arrival time. If guests should eat at home first, say so: "Please have dinner before coming; we'll serve evening snacks and breakfast." The sleepover start-time guide covers how to choose arrival and pickup times. Use your household's actual plan rather than copying a time from an example.

Here is a short text invitation you can adapt. Replace every bracketed field and keep only what matches your plans: "Hi [parent's name]! We'd love [guest's name] to join [child's name]'s sleepover at [address]. Drop-off is [day and date] at [time], and pickup is [next day and date] at [time]. Guests will stay overnight, with [adult names] hosting. We'll have [activity], [food] and breakfast. Please bring [packing list]. You can reach me at [phone number] throughout the evening and overnight. Please RSVP by [date], send your contact number and let me know about any food needs or arrangements you'd like to discuss."

Keep the next-day pickup date in the message even if an invitation app shows an end time somewhere else. Use plain words for the activities. "Karaoke and games" or "a movie and drawing" tells families more than "an unforgettable night."

• The invited child's name, the birthday child's name and the occasion
• The address, with an entrance or parking note if needed
• The arrival date and time
• The next-day pickup date and an exact time or clearly stated window
• A direct sentence saying whether guests will stay overnight
• The food you'll provide: dinner, evening snacks and breakfast, as applicable
• What guests should bring, and what bedding you'll provide
• The host's name and a phone number you can be reached on during the evening and overnight
• The names of the adults hosting
• An RSVP date, who to reply to, and a request to discuss food needs or other individual arrangements

How to include a guest who isn't staying overnight

Some children want to join the party but sleep at home. Offer an evening-only place only if you can manage it. Give that family its own pickup time so they don't have to work out whether the morning details apply to them.

Wording you can adapt: "We'd love [guest's name] to join us for the evening, even if they aren't staying overnight. Please arrive on [date] at [time] for [activities and food]. Evening pickup is at [time] that same night. Please confirm this option with me by [RSVP date]."

If a second adult is confirmed for the evening, decide who will meet the parent at the door for an evening pickup, and the other adult stays with the rest of the group during the handover. If you'll be the only adult, work out how the group will be supervised while you're at the door before you offer an evening-only place.

Agreeing on phones, screens and contacting home

Phones need two separate decisions: when screens are used for entertainment, and how a child can contact home. Treat them separately so a screen cutoff never stops a child from asking for help.

A screen plan can set the entertainment window and where devices stay outside it, while separately confirming how each guest can contact home. Note any individual device arrangements privately. Our sleepover screen time plan keeps these decisions apart.

Ask families privately about any device needs before you choose one rule for everyone. Then tell both families and guests where devices will be overnight and how a guest can reach home.

Agreeing on photos and privacy

Photos are easy to forget and hard to take back once they're shared. Agree with families whether photos may be taken and shared, then explain the same rule to guests.

A general agreement may not cover every photo. Check permission for pictures where a child can be identified and for where each one will be shared. Share only approved photos with the approved audience, and ask recipients not to forward them. Our guide to party photos and permission to share them goes into detail.

House rules to explain when guests arrive

Families agree to the plan before the night. Guests hear the plan when they arrive. A short walk-through at arrival helps guests know where things are before the party gets busy.

Worked example: one family's sleepover plan

This is an illustrative example, not a recommended schedule or a set of times for any particular age. Change every detail to fit your own household.

The people: the birthday child, Maya, and four friends staying overnight, so five children sleep over. One more friend, Sam, joins for the evening only and goes home that night. Dana and Chris are the two hosting adults and both stay overnight. Nobody else in the household is part of the party. The phone and device spot is a basket on the kitchen shelf, and Dana's phone is the contact number for families.

Before sending invitations, Dana texts each family privately: "If [child] wants to go home during the night, who should I contact and how would pickup work?" She writes each answer next to that family's number. She also asks whether any child needs to keep a device with them, and agrees with families that photos can be taken but only shared with their permission.

Notice the handovers. At Sam's 8:00 pm pickup, Dana meets the parent at the door while Chris stays with the movie. If a child asks to call home at any point, Dana takes the call request and Chris stays with the group.

Checklist before the sleepover

Use this as a final check, then send each family a reminder with both dates and times, the address, the packing list and the host's phone number. Tell families about any changes since they replied. The parent communication checklist and morning pickup guide can help with the host notes and the morning.

• The host's phone number has been shared, and you have each family's number where the hosting adult can find it
• The hosting adults are named and confirmed for the whole night
• Arrival time and next-day pickup time are confirmed with every family
• Evening-only guests have their own same-night pickup time
• An early-pickup arrangement is agreed with each family and written down
• The planned wind-down and lights-out time is shared as a plan
• The phone and device arrangement is decided, with individual needs checked privately
• The photo rule is agreed with families
• The packing list and the bedding you'll provide are clear
• Food plans are shared, and individual food needs are discussed directly with families
• You know which rooms are open to guests, which are off-limits, and where the hosting adult will sleep

Sources and further reading

• Sleepover Rules and Host Planning Guide
• Sleepover Invitation Wording
• Sleepover Screen Time Plan

Related questions

• How do I host a sleepover-style party without an overnight stay?
• How do I decide whether a child is ready for a first sleepover?
• How do I plan a sleepover that works for the guests and host?
• What time should a sleepover start, settle down and finish?