Invitations & RSVPs: What to Say and How to Get Replies

Questions to start with

• What should I include in a birthday invitation?
• What should I do when guests do not RSVP or reply late?
• How do I tell parents whether to stay or drop off their child?

What to put on the invitation

Start here if you're writing the invitation. Get the basics guests need, a clear end time, and a simple way to say you're serving snacks rather than a full meal.

Families need enough on the invitation to decide and to arrive: who is invited, the date, start and finish times, the address, what will happen, the food, whether parents stay, the RSVP date and how to reach you. If any of that changes, tell every invited family. See what to include in a birthday invitation.

A finish time matters as much as a start time: it tells parents when to collect children and tells adult guests how long to plan for. State it as plainly as the start time, not as a hint. There are examples in our guide to making the party's end time clear.

A short food line helps families decide whether to eat before they come. Something like "Snacks and birthday cake; no meal served" is enough, with no need to explain your budget. Our guide to telling guests a party has snacks, not a meal has more wording.

• What should I include in a birthday invitation?
• How do I make the party’s end time clear to guests?
• How do I tell guests that a party will have snacks rather than a meal?

Inviting kids and telling parents the plan

For children's parties: tell parents whether to stay or drop off, and get invitations to school friends when you don't have their parents' contact details.

There are three arrangements: parents must stay, parents may stay, or children are dropped off. Decide which before invitations go out. Whether siblings can come is a separate question, so answer it separately. Our guide on telling parents whether to stay or drop off covers the wording for each.

When you don't have parents' contact details, ask the teacher whether they can forward invitations, rather than asking for a contact list. Say whether you're inviting the whole class or only some children, since rules may differ. See how to invite school friends without parents' contacts.

Before you hand out invitations at school, ask what the school's rule actually covers. A rule about which invitations staff will pass out in class may be different from a requirement about who you invite to a private party, and schools vary. Our answer to whether you have to invite the whole class explains which questions to ask and how to compare guest-list options.

• How do I tell parents whether to stay or drop off their child?
• How do I invite school friends when I cannot contact their parents?

Collecting RSVPs and chasing late replies

Decide what to ask for in an RSVP, and what to do when replies come in late or don't come at all.

Ask for names, not just numbers: replies by text, email and at the school gate are easy to double-count. Ask for separate child and adult totals, whether a parent is staying, and invite families to mention needs you can discuss privately. See what to ask for in a party RSVP.

Set your reply date by working back from your food order or venue headcount deadline, and leave time to follow up with families who haven't answered. Check too whether your booking allows late replies or extra guests. Our guide to setting a birthday party RSVP deadline explains how.

Silence isn't a yes. If a family hasn't replied, check that the invitation reached them, then ask for a definite answer by your cutoff without asking why they can't come. Our guide on following up when guests don't RSVP includes text and voicemail wording.

A late yes is a different problem from no reply. Before agreeing, check whether you still have places and whether your food or venue order can change. Our guide on what to do with late birthday party RSVPs covers that check.

• What information should I ask for in a party RSVP?
• What should I do when guests do not RSVP or reply late?

Other questions hosts ask

Work out who pays for an adult birthday celebration, or make party signs useful for guests who speak different languages.

Adult guests need to know before replying what you are covering and what they'll pay for themselves. Expectations differ when the birthday is for a child or teen. Our guide on who should pay for an adult birthday celebration explains how to set this out.

Short translated signs help guests find their way without asking. Make entrance, restroom and food signs first, then add drinks, exits or other directions where needed. Our guide to party signs for guests who speak different languages covers wording and checks.

• Who should pay for an adult birthday celebration?
• How do I make party signs useful for guests who speak different languages?